http://www.bumperdumper.com/bumper2.htm

Make sure to order the optional toilet paper holder.

June the fourth, 1973, was much like any other summer’s day in Peterborough and Ralph Mellish, a file clerk at an insurance company, was on his way to work as usual when - nothing happened!

Scarcely able to believe his eyes, Ralph Mellish looked down, but one glance confirmed his suspicions: behind a bush, on the side of the road, there was no severed arm; no dismembered trunk of a man in his late fifties; no head in a bag – nothing, not a sausage!

For Ralph Mellish this was not to be the start of any trail of events which would not, in no time at all, involve him in neither a tangled knot of suspicion nor any web of lies, which would - had he been not uninvolved - surely have led him to no other place than the Central Criminal Court of the Old Bailey. But it was not to be!

Ralph Mellish reached his office in Dalsels Street, Peterborough, at 9.05 a.m.., exactly the same time he usually got in.

“Morning, Mr. Mellish”
“Morning, Enid”

Enid, a sharp-eyed, clever young girl, who had been with the firm for only 4 weeks, couldn’t help noticing the complete absence of tiny but tell-tale blood stains on Mr. Mellish’s clothing. Nor did she notice anything strange in Mr. Mellish’s behaviour that whole morning. Nor the next morning. Nor at any time before or since the entire period she worked for that firm.

“Have the new paper clips arrived, Enid?”
“Yes, they’re over there, Mr. Mellish.”
“Oh…”

But for the lack of any untoward circumstances for this secretary to notice, and the total non-involvement of Mr. Mellish in anything illegal, the full weight of the law would insure that Ralph Aldus Mellish would have ended up like all who challenge the fundamental laws of our society -

In an iron coffin, with spikes on the inside.

I just discovered this site in a friend of mine’s Google Reader Shared Items. It’s almost, but not quite, totally safe-for-work, depending on where it is you work.

Examples:
(the red text in the 3rd picture says “Weasels Ripped My Flesh”. It’s readable in the original post.)

Did everyone (in Cary) see Pete’s hand on the front page of the Cary News this week? The online version of the article doesn’t have the same picture, so I’m not bothering to link it.

Justin pointed me toward a plugin to make embedding YouTube videos easer. It’s called EasyTube, and now that I’ve installed it, all you have to do to embed a video is type a tag like this:

[y0utube:http://youtube.com/watch?v=QOqXlbWf9Io] except change that zero to an ‘o’, and this is what you’ll get:

The same tag format works for Google Videos by substituting ‘googlevideo’ instead of ‘youtube’
e.g. [g0oglevideo:URL]

And if you want to, you can resize it like this… [y0utube:URL WIDTH HEIGHT]

So this… [y0utube:http://youtube.com/watch?v=uR88nKyKj3U 250 166]

Becomes this (click, plz):^*

*Been Rick Astley’d Lately?

More information about EasyTube may be found here.